Last Sunday I attended The Ransom church in Sioux Falls, a church I had been to once before. To be honest, I was more looking forward to going because I wanted to see a family that I knew attended there than I was looking forward to what I would learn while there. Well, the pastor was starting a new sermon series that day and his sermon that day was about Jonah. (I'll be referencing stuff from Jonah 1-3:5 if you want to read it first, but I'll also give a VERY brief summary.) He spoke specifically about the disobedience of Jonah, and how he was running from fear of what God was calling him to do. God was calling him to "Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and call out against it, for their evil has come up before me." (1:2) Now, the pastor explained that the people of Nineveh are a pretty frightening group of people: they treated their captives horribly and killed them in some of the most gruesome ways possible. So, as most of us would probably be, he was terrified that the same would happen to him. So Jonah tried "to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the Lord" (1:3), which is kind of a ridiculous thing to attempt, because the presence of the Lord is everywhere! But, nonetheless, he got on a boat, a terrible storm came up, the men threw him overboard, he was swallowed by a big fish, Jonah prayed to God, and then God had the fish vomit him onto land. So..."'Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah the second time, saying, "Arise go to Nineveh, that great city, and call out against it the message that I tell you.' So Jonah arose and went to Nineveh, according to the word of the Lord" (3:1-3).... "And the people of Nineveh believed God" (3:5).
This last summer as I was in Guatemala, my team shared this story with a church in the city we lived in. We emphasized the part about being obedient to what God calls us to do. Also, a big thing that God was laying on my heart this summer was that we're not always called to do easy things. Often times sharing God's truth requires us to step out of our comfort zones and to always rely completely on His strength. In Guatemala, we were often placed in trying situations that were out of our comfort zones and very draining spiritually and physically. But God gave us the strength to push forward so that all the glory was His. After coming back home to the states, I kept all this in mind, but still ended up in a situation that was very similar to Jonah's.
Throughout the summer I had been praying that God would help me figure out what I was supposed to do about school in the fall. My freshman year I attended Augustana with an undeclared major. Throughout the summer I realized that missions is where He is calling me. I thought that also meant He was calling me away from Augustana to a school where I could truly devote all my time to learning more about him and different religions and cultures in the world. But I wasn't able to even think about transferring until I got home to the states in the first week of August. I prayed about going to Northwestern College in St. Paul, MN, and thought that was where God was calling me. It had exactly the major I wanted: Intercultural Studies and Spanish. I visited, applied, and was accepted all a week before classes actually started. But the real deciding factor about whether I was going was financial aid. If I didn't receive enough, I couldn't go. I knew God would make it clear either way about where I was supposed to be, but was sure it was Northwestern and prayed that He would provide the money I needed. I ended up moving to Northwestern, registering for classes, setting up my dorm, and finding out I couldn't actually afford to go, all in one day. I was a wreck that night: angry at God for having let me fall down so hard, even though I had been determined to be okay with wherever he placed me, and for not providing for me. I couldn't see what plan he possibly had for me and didn't see how I could benefit from going to Augustana. But He has constantly been reaffirming the fact that His plans are so much better than mine, and that no matter how perfect Northwestern sounded, this is where I'm meant to be right now.
I had been acting exactly like Jonah. God called me to Augustana (Nineveh) again for this fall. The reason I say Augie is Nineveh is because spiritually, Augie has been very difficult. There are a lot of people who aren't exactly for Christianity, and there is a lot of partying and just a general disregard for "morals." And so, I reacted (unknowingly) in fear, thinking that my fear was just God leading me to somewhere else, and I kept telling myself the morning that I drove to St. Paul that I was not running away. So I fled to Northwestern (my Tarshish... though I wasn't trying to flee from the Lord... I thought I was going TO the Lord). But, just like with Jonah, God sent a big fish my way called "financial aid" to swallow me up. So I fought at God, wondering why he hadn't provided for me, but also praying that He would just pick me up again and just lead me where I was supposed to be. I spent three days and three nights (yes, ironically the same amount as Jonah haha) inside of "financial aid" at my house praying that God would just use me wherever He wanted me. Then "financial aid" vomited me onto the campus of Augustana.
God's given me so much peace in being back, and has really raised up a good support system around me (though a lot of them don't actually go to Augie...). He's also just really reaffirmed that I am not called to do easy things. Going to Northwestern would have been the "easy" option. Oh yeah, and remember how I was fighting with God about the whole financial aid thing and not providing for me at Northwestern? Well, He did provide, just not where I was expecting: He provided 2 new scholarships I was not expecting and more aid for work-study! I am still just completely amazed at how much He's done in the short time I've been at Augie.
And so I am anxiously waiting to see what plans He has in store. He's definitely opened my eyes to how important it is to listen carefully to where he is leading us, and not acting out of fear. Also, that even though He might be calling us to do things in which we are scared and weak, in other words to go to "Nineveh," that He will give us the strength to do His work so that He will be given all the glory. "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)
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